Live in the Present
by AwesomeA
Summary: They're all humans in the 21st century, and Diego's finding out that what was the easy way out wasn't after all. But you can't cry over split milk. Especially when your past (and a couple of bloodthirsty gangsters) catches up with you. xD Please Read and Review!
1. Chapter 1 Dying Leaves in the Rain

Buck stared at Diego. He couldn't help it.

Was the young man sitting hunched on the sofa, hugging his knees, possibly Buck's best friend?

It wasn't that he was sitting hugging his knees. It was the odd look in his eyes. Buck could tell when Diego had zoned out when his greeny-hazel eyes darkened. It usually only happened when Sid talked about his latest failed date, or when had Manny had gone loco over anything that threatened his precious daughter. But now, and almost every day for the last week, they were the colour of dying leaves in the rain. That was the only way to put it. Diego couldn't even be bothered to give Manny the ritual of a punch on the shoulder any more.

And the craziest thing was, Diego's crazy eyes always came when he looked at Peaches.

Buck and Diego pretty much became the chief babysitters while Ellie and Manny looked for a new house instead of the flat. And since Ellie found it hard to make up her mind, Buck and Diego's humble flat, filled with the mindless junk that Manny forgot to baby-proof, became a second home for the 8 month-old.

Peaches was a remarkable baby, able to capture the hearts of the responsibility-hating uncles. And her affection for Uncle 'Jago' assured her place in the tough guy's heart. Uncle Buck and Uncle Jago always made up games and let her do things which her father would never allow her to do, and the little daredevil was indulged in Buck and Diego's flat (the' BAD' place, as Sid, who was harshly looked over as babysitter, had grumbled).

Buck and Diego loved Peaches being there. It was just recently that Diego had stopped the role-play, stopped the games and stopped all the time that he used to invest in his niece. Buck was left to rule Babydom alone, and it wasn't a choice he liked.

Now Diego just sat and stared.

But Diego's reputation was the guy with the mysterious past. Diego had never really opened up, apart from to say something about his life in Soto's gang, and only when asked. Diego once said that half the gang were murdered. Maybe a young girl was among them?

_Perhaps someone in his birth herd_, Buck wondered. Buck didn't really see Diego as scared of anything, not even ghosts of little girls, so had dismissed it and just decided to let it slide.

But tonight he couldn't.

"What's up?" he asked, trying to be casual. He had to repeat it twice to get Diego's attention.

"Hmmm? Oh nothing. Just tired."

Buck raised an eyebrow.

"You've been tired for the last week. What are you, an insomniac?" He followed Diego's gaze, settling on his wrist. Squinting, he could read the upside-down words, from a tattoo inked long ago.

_Sabre. _He read thoughtfully. Buck wasn't one for deep thought, but it clicked now.

"You're missing your birth gang!" he cried. "You're missing your mother and your father and all the friends that you left and…." He stopped abruptly. Diego stood up, his eyes clearing rapidly, now filled with annoyance and anger. _Oh crap._

"No Buck!" he exclaimed. "Do you have nothing better to do than try to analyse my life? Well I can tell you one thing," he said, stalking to his bedroom door.

"You don't know anything." He said, almost silently, scarier than any shouting. He slammed the door on Buck and the baby.

Peaches turned to Buck, her little hands flying to her chubby pink cheeks. "Oh no Uncle Buck. Why's Uncle Jago so sad?"

"I dunno lil' Ellie. " he replied, scratching his brown crew cut, now growing out.. What had he done?

Fifteen minutes later, a calm, composed Diego walked out. Buck held his tongue.

"I'm sorry Buck." He apologised, as Buck dropped his mouth open. "I guess you're right. I haven't seen my mom or my dad in 6 years. Or any of my old friends."

_An apology? From Diego? Dammit, I've got to arrange a doctor's appointment…_


	2. Chapter 2 Diego

I walked down the main road, so thankful for the peaceful street. When I say peaceful, it was actually filled with hustle and bustle, noise everywhere, people shoving into shops, out of shops, talking on their phones. Just how it always was. I was usually a quiet guy, but all the hours stuck in the flat made me realise how much I missed it. Out of everything, it stayed the same, unlike my life right know. In fact, my life a_lways. _My life changed constantly.

Let me start with Peaches. Cutest, cleverest, sweetest baby I've ever seen. But hey, I'm not exactly in charge of a nursery. But in the first few months of her life, I wished I was in another country.

When she was annoyed, angry, hungry, needed a poo needed a wee, thirsty and for a whole load of other reasons, she screamed. And cried. And screamed a whole load more. In those months, I couldn't guess for the life of me why Ellie and Manny wanted a screaming bundle of chubbiness. Cute chubbiness, but still.

Thank God babies grow up. But no thanks to God for giving Ellie and Manny the idea that they needed to buy a house. I mean, what's wrong with their flat? And because of that brainwave, I was now a co-babysitter.

First couple of weekends, it was fine. Buck and I always found a new game to play. But then the weirdest thing happened. Peaches made me think of the last baby girl I'd seen. They have the same smile, same sense of humour.

No, if you were thinking it, was the last little girl mine. This little girl was a girl when I was a little boy; she was only a couple of months younger than me. And that memory led me to the memory of her twin, and they were my partners in childish crime. And that led me to all my childhood right up to when I was eighteen.

I had worked hard to bury all those memories. It wasn't so hard in Soto's gang, where I had to bury every emotion I had apart from anger and revenge. I did just that. I was a seasoned memory-forgetter even in Manny's 'gang' so even where I could show feelings, they never really bothered me. Until Peaches was born. And now that I was a permanent babysitter, everything I worked hard to lose came flooding back, and it wasn't nice at all.

Now, even Buck had had noticed despite the bubble of insanity that surrounded him and his crazy little world. It's true, and even I, as his fellow bachelor who longed for adventure have to admit.

Probably 'cause I never spent any time with my one and only niece. Probably 'cause I spent every evening staring at her.

Memories scare me. Especially when it's all I have of the first chapter of my life.

I was engrossed in my thoughts. It was like I was listening to music with the volume turned up 50 notches, with my $300 with high definition sound and noise cancelling that I now kept in a box on top of my wardrobe so Peaches wouldn't drool all over them, apart from I couldn't' hear a thing. Suddenly, I walked into someone so hard we both fell over.

"Oh, sh….Sorry…" I trailed off. The guy I'd just knocked over was looking at me like my face had just turned bright orange. And I think I was looking at him the same way. He was tanned like me, had browny-amber eyes, and was tall-ish and muscular. Not as tall as me, but still looked pretty sturdy.

"Do I know you?" he asked. His voice was husky, and weirdly familiar.

"I don't know."

"What's your name?"

"Mommy told me not to give my name to randumos I knock over in the street.." I said, and got and held out a hand to him. He laughed, took it, and got up too.

"I'm Roddy."

_No way. Roddy? No, it can't be. Oh please Diego, there's probably six hundred Roddys in the world._

"Fine then. I'm Diego." He gave me the funnies look in the world.

"Surname?" I groaned inwardly, but hey, what harm could it do?

"Espartana."

"Oh my holy cow." Roddy said. "Diego? Diego Luis Espartana? Don't you remember me?"

Oh man. i knew I did.

"Rodrigo Lopez Cruz. What the hell are you doing here?"

"My man Diego!" he cried and crushed me in a bear hug. Damn, I didn't need a reminder of his enthusiasm. But god, I'd missed him. My childhood and teenage best friend. We had stood up for each other, took the blame for each other… That ultimately became why I was carted off with Soto.

After petting time was over, we started question time. well, he did.

"What are you doing?"

"Where do you live?"

"Do you have a girlfriend?"

"No? oh well. Are you in a new gang?"

"Are they sabres?"

I only had three questions. What was Roddy doing in Boston when our, well, _their _HQ was in New York? It wasn't a holiday, I was sure of that.

And how were….

"_Diego_?" Roddy and I turned around. One of the two remaining questions were answered, in part at least.

**Author's note; Ok ok, so Espartana isn't the most realistic surname, or anything to do with sarcastic saber-toothed tigers with amazing eyes at all, but it is a surname, and it fits in with the story later on.**

**Next time: Who is this newcomer? And why did Diego leave for Soto's gang? Please R&R!**


	3. Chapter 3 Roddy

I started to laugh. You know, awkward chuckles to ward off the impending silence. It was there anyway, like a whale jammed in-between Diego and the person staring at him. A whale made of silence _and_ shock. Neither of them looked at me, they just stared at each other with a look of shock, horror and a whole load of other emotions. And then swivelled their eyes to me.

What is it with sisters that they always turn up at the wrong moment? Shakira _always_ did that. Whenever I complained about her, or was on a date, or… Seeing the guy that she now really didn't like.

"Hey Kira…" I started, but I doubt she actually heard me.

"I'm not hallucinating am I?" Shakira asked me, her voice soft. She reached out a hand like a cautious bird and touched Diego's jacket. He flinched slightly, but it was enough to snap her out of fairy-land. Her pupils widened, her brows knotted and she lowered her hand. Biting her lip, she said "I suppose the search is over." Diego reeled back, and I knew he guessed why we were here in Boston now, but he asked, just for confirmation as he always did; "What search? What do you mean?", but Shakira had already turned away, flicking her thick hair bang into my face, and I could see that it was set in her determined-angry look as she walked away.

"I can see how happy she is to see me," Diego said, his eyebrows raised. I sighed.

"She's been like that ever since you left-" "You put up with that for _six years_?" "-but she's been worse since Dad died."

"Uncle Demitri's dead? How? When?" I knew his question wasn't just out of pity for a friend; my father was his mentor, and you don't forget the bond between your mentor and you in Sabre culture.

Let me explain what Sabres are. Sabres are the biggest, international-ish gang in the world, founded by a guy nicknamed Sabre-tooth. Apparently he had buck teeth, but that's off the point.

Sabres are the No.1 gang. And we're serious. It's like we're animals; we have territory, hierarchy, everything. You can have a normal job, you can be a doctor, writer, engineer… you can marry a normal person, provided they don't mind all the gang stuff. And if you have to, you can even quit.

But it's different once you come back home from your job, or school. You're a gangster, and it's like a nationality. You can leave, run away, but you will still be a sabre. Sabres are such a massive gang that we have divisions, and each division has their own hierarchy, with a leader and a deputy, and territory. There is an ultimate leader, who is under close security at all times. Rumour has it that he's in Venezuela at the moment, but no one actually sure where, for even who, the hell he is. We're mainly Spanish, Hispanic, or Portuguese. Our division leader is Diego's father, Leonidas, named after the amazing Spartan king, to link in with his surname, Espartana. Our deputy was my father. Now it's some guy called Paulo. He's my father's brother. I don't like him. But back to the story.

"And what was Shakira talking about?" Diego asked again, his expression stern. I stared in the direction Shakira had gone. _Damn. She'll take the car home, and then I'll have to walk it. _"Hello? Waiting for answers here!" I sighed again. A two year bout in Evil-Land and a four year bout in Normaldom definitely hadn't changed his personality.

"Who has loads of questions now? And _your_ answers weren't exactly elaborate." I pointed out. But before he could think of a witty comeback, I said "C'mon. I know a good coffee shop round here." He lowered his gaze and followed me, running his fingers through his hair. It was more brown than blonde now, quite different to his golden crop when he was a kid. I could see thick scars running across his torso, so dark you could see them through the t-shirt he was wearing. I knew he had received them in Soto's gang; I had never seen them whilst we were kids.

We sat down in the coffee shop, engaging in meaningless small talk, but it was odd. Diego was my best friend. Spending 18 years together as practically twins, or triplets, if you included Shakira, meant we knew everything about each other. As sabres, trust and loyalty were everything, and if anything, we had that. We were like the three little pigs, depending on each other, and if a big bad wolf came, we all got the cauldron out.

But now, it seemed like eons separated us. It was only six years, but that's what it felt like. For Diego, it must have been because he severed all ties with us when he left his birth gang, our gang, to go with Soto, thinking it would be easier. For me, it was because Diego left because of me.

I hate myself. It was because of me that Diego had to leave, destroying his parents' dreams of him becoming leader, destroying my sister's heart, even destroying my father's dreams for his apprentice. All 'cause of me. And after he left, I was expected to fill the giant, Diego-shaped hole. How?


	4. Chapter 4 Diego aged 18

Dad told me to sit down near to him, so I did. I wanted to sit where Cris sat. He had borrowed some stuff of mine, I wanted it back. But Dad looked like death had knocked on his door, so I didn't say anything. Instead, I just prayed that my little figure of speech wasn't true. I looked round the spacious Catholic Church hall my dad hired. Ironic that, a blood-spilling gang in a place of worship. A couple of people were crossing themselves. It was a church, after all, and I was still dragged down here every Sunday.

"Hey Diggy," Roddy said, plonking down next to me. At least he was here. "What'd'ya think this division meeting is for? My dad said it was really short notice." He peered over his dad's shoulder; he was sitting in front of us. Demitri swatted his son absent-mindedly, but his eyes were on Soto. "And why is Soto looking like that Cheshire cat from Alice and Wonderworld?"

"Wonder_land, _knuckle-head." But I glanced at Soto. Jeez, did he look happy? And why was he sitting so close to the deputy and the leader, in fact, opposite? I could see Roddy was thinking the same thing. Soto was strong, ruthless, and a brilliant fighter. But he was arrogant, head-strong and hated taking orders. I have to say, I was the first two as well, but I even knew better than to defy my dad. Soto didn't. He joined about 3 years ago, but no one trusted him much. He scared you, and even creeped me out, with his evil grin and cold, glowing eyes. They were even more amber than Roddy's eyes by a mile, his glowing devil eyes. No one apart from Carmen trusted him, but then, his pretty, dangerous girlfriend was also a recruit whom no one liked, and like her namesake, trusted much either. I thought they were a dangerous couple, but then I didn't know much about how couples worked.

I glanced round again. Despite the chatting around, suspense was like a fog hung round us. I saw my mum, Elena, talking to her close friend Hazel, Roddy and Shakira's mum, and I saw her too, hanging on the fringe of whatever gossip they were talking about. She saw me, and smiled. I smiled back, and then stopped, because Roddy seemed to be imitating Soto with his big smug grin.

"What?" I asked, but I knew the answer. He turned to face the front, not bothering to wipe the smirk of his face. "_Nurrr-_thing," then he faced me again. Not this. Oh fudge_. _This happened every time I looked at the girl. "You like her." I shook my head vehemently. Roddy widened his eyes. "Just promise me one thing."

"What?" I had the mistake of asking.

"Can I be the best man?" I brushed him off, laughing.

"Oh please. She's one of my best friends. _Just _a friend. And your sister." He just laughed.

"Who are you trying to convince?" he laid back in his seat. That's was Roddy was; utterly laid back. "So laid back he's horizontal," my mum would say and literally most of the time that was the case. But she saw them both like her children. Shakira was like the daughter she never had. _Maybe, just maybe…_We carried on with the fruitless argument, until Uncle Demitri turned round and whacked our heads for being so loud, whacked Roddy's head again for trying to arrange a marriage for his daughter, before telling us to ruddy shut up because the ruddy meeting was starting and turning back around. And by the way, ruddy was _not _the word he used. Roddy rubbed his head, settling for an emphatic sigh as the hush went over the hall.

My dad stood up. "Members of the Smilodon division of the Sabre gang, you are gathered here today-" what was this, a wedding? "-to hear the important news that one of us has." Dad gestured to Soto, who stood up. "Soto says he has a _proposition _for us." Dad sat down, his face creased with anger and resentment. He could guess what Soto wanted, and so could I.

"Thank you Leonidas. Yes, I have a proposition. There are a few of us bored with this type of gang." Gasps came from the crowd. "so civ ilised. What is the point in gangs and gangsters when there is no aggression, no spirit? This is too much like a government." More people stared with the same look that my dad had. "I say a couple of us adventurous one have a division of Smilodon to ourselves."

My dad stood up, furious that his fears were confirmed.

"That has never been done before!" Soto smiled, and replied in his over-husky voice "well, there's always a first time for everything."

"You cannot do this!" "Yes I can Leon. Do you want a gang with members who you will never trust?"

_Trust_. The first of the sabre code. Everyone stared, gobsmacked. There was no way we could let Soto stay in the gang now, but exiled he could spread the secrets faster than a cheetah. Silence settled over the room, waiting with baited breath for Dad's response.

"Very well." he said, after an eon. It killed my dad to say that. "I will give you a day to compile a list of members-"

"No need Leon. I have already decided." Those mangy idiots had planned this uprising already!

"There will be myself, Carmen, Oscar, Lenny, Zeke, Luisa, Miguel, Maria, Nico and-" he paused and stared straight at me. I could feel my hair stand up on my neck. Horrible.

"-Rodrigo." Roddy stared at him, his big amber eyes filled with terror. Roddy was loyal, brave, trustworthy, clever and a good fighter, but he was no match for those cunning, merciless animals. I couldn't stand that. My brain shut down.

"No!" I cried, standing up. "He can't go with a brute like you!" the whole division's eyes were on me now, and half of them probably thought I was gay now, but according to my plan, it wouldn't matter either way.

"And what would you suggest, young Diego?" Soto's voice was coated in sarcasm and distrust of an eighteen-year old. I gulped, acutely aware of only four eyes boring into mine. Mum's, Dad's, Roddy's and Shakira's. "I will go as a replacement."

Roddy sprung up. "No, no, you can't, don't, he won't, I-, I'll go, Diego can't!" he exclaiming all in one breath, tugging on my arm. _How many times have I told him, no touching! _I shook his hand off from mine, and stepped forward. "I will go."

* * *

><p>Heaving my suitcase out of the house, I checked my phone. The place to meet up before we all drove to the airport flashed on the screen. Then we would fly to Canada. Low population and plenty of area for territory. Perfect for Soto.<p>

To be honest, I didn't want to go. Why would I? But I had to go. There wasn't a choice.

"No, Diego," my mum had cried, tears welling in her eyes. "There's always a choice." she didn't understand, but Dad did, and for the first time since I was born, he cried. He didn't say anything. He moped around the house, helped me pack a bit, moped some more. He knew that if Roddy went he would go to a death, but if I went I had more of a chance. He would have done the same in my shoes. So in a way, I knew he was proud of me, but that was overshadowed by the fact I was going and destroying all hope of me being leader after him.

I hadn't spoken to Roddy after the meeting. He begged me not to go.

"I have to now, Rod."  
>"No you don't, idiot!"<br>"You would do the same for me right?"  
>"You don't have to ask."<br>"Exactly. I'm just… Paying back the time you took the blame for me spilling over the paint on your mum's dress". It was a silly thing to say, but I knew Roddy was defeated. He threw his hands in the air and said "Fine! Fine. You go and become a murderer with Soto and leave me to regret that I didn't tell the truth that day." He hugged me then left, and I walked the other way. I didn't look back.

Now I was leaving, my mum crying and my dad sitting in his armchair smoking a cigarette. He had quit five years ago, and that was his first. My suitcase was big, filled with everything, albums and CD's and even the poster I stuck in my room when I was six. But it still felt like something was missing. I shook my head. _You're being all sentimental. It's sad, okay? Deal with it. What are you, a girl in her time of month?_ That made me think of Kira. I didn't want to go without saying bye to her. Just by chance, I turned round and lo and behold, an angry young Hispanic girl was marching towards me. _Looks like you'll say bye after all_. Shakira barged straight at me and slapped my face. Ow. It stung worse than any punch from a bully.

"Hey you! You're leaving and going to hell, you know that? You jerk! Try'na leave without saying anything… Heartless! Horrible! I thought we were friends…" Then once the ranting was over, she dissolved in a flood of tears.  
>"Okay… Have you finished yet?" I asked, keeping my eyes on the pavement. She thumped my chest, but didn't say anything.<br>"You would have hated me if Roddy went and I didn't say anything, _si_?" She stayed silent. "And I wasn't going to let my best friend be murdered by them." She gave a gulp and put her arms round my neck. _Uh oh…_ I changed my stare to the sky.  
>"Oh look, it's a bird. Flying that way…" Kira laughed. I had to hug her back.<br>"You will stay in touch? Maybe we could all meet up?" I let go of her. "Let's see, shall we?"  
>We said our byes and I walked away. But this time, I did look back. I wanted to have one last look at her.<p>

Five minutes later, I got a text.

**Bye Diego. I'll miss u. Kira. **I closed my eyes, dropped the phone, and stepped on it, grinding it into the grey concrete.

Shakira was right. I was going to hell. And as long as I was alive, I wasn't going to drag my parents, friends, or Shakira in it.

Call me sentimental, a jerk anything, but I meant it. For as long as I lived.


	5. Chapter 5 Shakira Diego - Coffee

**He wants 2 know the story. U kno better. We're in HobNob café. Or if you don't was to come, don't drive off without me. R.**

You know, one of these days, I'm just going to block all the texts from my brother.

Well, of course, not really. I can't do that. He's probably my best friend, however sad that sounds. Sure I have girlfriends, but it's not the same. I'm too impatient to explain everything to them. Roddy gets my rushed shorthand way of speaking. That's the way I am, straight to the point without diddle doddle. The traitor got it even more, because he was like that.

You know they say that sometimes, when you accuse someone of doing something, you feel 'deep down' that you're wrong? I felt that, and for some reason really guilty too. I knew he probably had a good reason for being a jerk. When we were young, he would spin a tale with such an 'Aw, what a sweetie' factor that he made you forgive him. _Manipulative jackass, _my mind said. My heart stayed silent. He always ended up doing the right thing, whatever you thought. It was always annoying, knowing that your demeaning remarks and accusations meant nothing to him.

But I could find no reason to forgive him.

Roddy and I might be twins, but personality-wise, we are like cheese and yogurt. Made from the same stuff, might do the same stuff, the same but totally different, but it was your choice whether you liked one of us. We never thought it was rude if you like one of us and ignored the other. It was just lucky Diego liked us both. It was kind of expected that by the time we were teenagers, we would hate being stuck together since our parents were best friends and we would all get compared with each other, but growing up with each other like siblings, and having personalities that matched meant that we were firm friends. We probably knew each other better than we knew ourselves, if you know what I mean. I knew Diego and his good intentions, but I didn't know what I should do, what I would do. All I wanted to do was go to sleep. I'm a lively character, aren't I? I remembered what I said to Elena, Diego's mother after she begged me to go to him. I love her like my own mother.

Slowly, I turned the key in the car's ignition. _Manipulative jackass and his manipulative mother._

I decide the best thing to do is to listen to what I've been told. Warn him. So I do a U-turn and drive to the Café with the silly name.

_He doesn't look half bad. Does he have a girlfriend? _I shake my head. There's no room for thoughts like that. Of course he has a girlfriend, since he looks like that. _Damn, I did it again!_ I divert my thoughts to whether my car has enough gas in the tank, and if it needs a clean. Old Fordy is the only man in my life.

* * *

><p>…<p>

She didn't look particularly happy to be here and see me, even though I'm pretty sure the sole reason of the two of them being here in the first place was to see me. Oh the irony. I give an inward shrug. _Her choice._

"So…?" I start off, as she sits down to give me a withering stare.

"Zeke and Oscar and Lenny are hunting you down. To kill you. Basically." Shakira was never one for dawdling. Roddy rolls his eyes and glares at her.

"I saw them a month or so back," she carries on, not looking at me. "They made me stop my car when they realised who I was. And then they tried to get in, but it didn't work so they just ended up spewing all this crap at me in the middle of the street. Basically, they aren't happy. At all. Something about you killing Soto-" _Puzzled look_. "-and betraying them and crap. I don't know how, but it's not just them anymore; they've got others helping them and I couldn't recognise them. And then they put graffiti all over the car, and I went and told your dad."

"Where were you?"

"In the car."

"No, where was this?"

"In the suburbs of New York, but they won't have stayed there. We came after a week of wondering what to do. They won't have waited."

There's a silence. I understand that at the end of the day, what they're doing is fair, in a twisted, criminal way. I betrayed them, failed them, caused the death of their leader and didn't exactly leave them in a good shape. Despite all the crap we were put through in that group, I was still a Sabre and I had broken pretty much all the laws. If this had been a century or so back, my own dad would have hunted me down, so forget about any mercy from Oscar and his cronies.

"Diego…" Roddy starts, leaning forward. "Why did you leave? What did you do?"

"Why did you leave for…" Shakira pauses, to think up the right word. "_Non_-Sabres?" I notice that the contempt in her eyes has been replaced by sheer curiosity.

_Now or never, Diego._


End file.
